he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
birth control should be required to get into college
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
