North Korea, Best Korea!
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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