I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
