FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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