And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
