have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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