I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
