who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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