did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
