We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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