I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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