Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
