Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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