A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i think my mom watched the whole time
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
