Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
