you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
two words: eviction party
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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