how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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