This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
