First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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