the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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