nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
