i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
