I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
