wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
