Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
