They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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