It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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