two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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