chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
