well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
