Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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