Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
how does that bad decision feel?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
