I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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