What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
