so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
