was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
