my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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