i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We need to rekindle our bromance
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
