i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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