I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
