Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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