so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
