Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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