We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
