Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
