WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
