Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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