I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
