I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
