It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
All the doctor said was why
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
