i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
